Ring of Glory—Chapter 3

Posted: February 10, 2011 in Uncategorized

  Steve Avery opened his eyes to the image of Farrah Fawcett in a bathing suit. It was the classic poster that made her famous and it was on the wall inside the shack of Cecil Gibbs. Steve Avery was tied to a chair and to his back in another chair was Jon Jacob who was still out cold.

 “Well Hello sleepin’ beauty!”, said Cecil Gibbs in a classic Alabama Redneck accent.

“My head hurts.”, said Avery as he rubbed the bump on his noggin.

“You guys have heads like marshmallows. Its from playing those sissy games you play”, said Cecil as he popped open a can of RED DOG beer.

“I bet you could use a cool one, eh?”, winked Cecil

“I don’t drink that shit”, said Avery

Cecil stood erect and said, “Ah that’s right you guys are a bunch of beer snobs, your drink those yuppie beers,  and polish your pennie loafers huh. I bet you guys go to websites like the “Beer Advocate” to find out what beer you should drink and to find out what beer is rated high. Just like you pick out your games huh, go to those stupid websites and find out which is rated the highest. Did you ever think who is rating those games and beers? A bunch of basement dwellers who wont leave their mommas house! What the hell do they know? You think just because someone writ something on the web makes it true?”

“No…I just prefer a fine libation”, said Avery somewhat embarrased.

“Yeah, Ive seen the shit you drink…that peach flavored pussy drink you drink with that House husband who sells games”, said Cecil as he takes a swig of Red Dog.

“No Matter”, continued Cecil. “Its no worse than the sissy games you play.

“Sissy games!?!?, I am an Ameritrash gamer, I’m no Eurosissy!!!, said Avery proudly

“Oooooooooh, that’s right you like games like Cash ‘n Guns, real macho shit right?”, said Cecil

“Sure”, said Avery nudging Jon Jacob to wake him.

“Well, why don’t we play a game of Cash N Guns, with a little house rule of mine, we use REAL guns!”, smiled Cecil like a Cat sitting in the boxlid of one of Schloesser’s games.

Cecil set up a game of Cash N Guns with 3 pistols. Jon Jacob was now awake and aware of what was about to take place. It began to dawn on them that Cecil was really unstable. Cecil was about to start the game when the phone rang.

“Hey Jack, yes dump that stock, sell the other one when it goes up 3 more points…” Cecil said like a hillybilly executive.

Steve Avery and Jon Jacob stared at each other and Cecil saw they were a little surprised.

“Oh I see…I am redneck and should be out slopping the hogs huh”, said Cecil Laughing. “You guys kill me a bunch of wine drinking geeks who think they are so elite, you guys are slaves to stereotypes. I feel sorry for you. Well, we will see what you are made of as we play MY version of Cash N Guns.”

Cecil dealt the cards and Avery kicked Jon Jacob. It was clear what they had to do. They would both play their BANG BANG BANG cards and stop Cecil cold before they wound up as cold as a dish of Graeters Ice Cream served at the Gathering.

The game proceded and Avery and Jon Jacob both revealed their triple bang cards smiling at Cecil with both guns pointed at him. Cecil had his gun pointed at Steve Avery.

“Looks like we gotcha Cecil”, smiled Steve Avery.

“You would have me but the fact is there are no bullets in those guns”, smiled Cecil.

Steve Avery and Jon Jacob both fired their pistols and heard nothing but Clics…

“What card did you play?”, asked Jon Jacob

“Oh I just play a single bang card”, said Cecil.

“No matter, we still win”, smiled Avery

“There is one thing I can’t stand, RULES LAWYERS”, said Cecil frowning.

 Steve Weeks poured himself a glass of Brandy into an oversized snifter as he sit back in his Louis the XV chair listening to the Magic Flute by Mozart.  As the high notes of the lady’s voice echoed through the bungalow a single gunshot was heard in rhythm with the music. Mr. Weeks picked up a leather dice cup which was engraved with the name, “The Mad Gamer”. He shook the cup and out rolled some dice from the game “Doom”.

“Ah…looks like a hit!”, Mr. Weeks smiled and took a sip of Brandy.


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