Ring of Glory—Chapter 5

Posted: February 11, 2011 in boardgames


 “The War of 2006 is over man! I have no intention and ZERO interest in going back to NERDSville to save your pathetic hobby!” , said Steve Weeks in a preachy voice.

“Weeks!!! Do this man!!! You are the best at what you do! Have you lost touch with that magic gaming spark that we all loved? Where is your heart man?”, said Avery as he wiped some beer from his mouth.

“Avery is right! You really need to get in the Ring with Greg and show the world again what you mean to the gaming hobby”, said Jon Jacob who quickly stole a gaze at Bubble legs.

“I think you chaps don’t see the big picture here”, said Col. Winston Smyth in an English accent that makes Matt Thrower sound like a redneck.

“Mr. Weeks is totally and comepletely satisfied with our organization here in Bali. We have made significant strides in gaming that you chaps may not be aware of, we continue to fight the good fight ever since the pillars of Fortress Ameritrash fell from the weight of their own stupidity. Surely it was bound to happen, when the website is ruled by a woman who doesn’t even know good liquor how can you expect her to know good writing and prose and understand satire and entertainment? Barnes writing is like the flight of the Pussycat swallowtail, drifting whichever way the wind may blow, while the rest of the forum is filled with threads labeled, “F– You”, it is easy to understand while the site is in a decline of epic proportions.  Of course, if you add to this the Epic failure of Geekdo, which a blind man could have seen was a mistake from the beginning. A site on RPG’s in 2011? RPG’s died in the 80’s!!!  I must say if you are going to play an ancient game at least stick to something in the Avalon Hill line which is a regal line of games, I must say. But I digress, the point I am making is that right now The League of Untouchable American Gamers is doing just fine and we are quite satisfied to sit back and watch the other gaming sites decompose.”

“Winston is right.”, said Steve Weeks. “The boxing match with Greg, while I admit would be amusing, is not needed. I hate to cut this short but I want to get back to my game of Cyclades>”

Steve Weeks leaves the shack followed by Bubbles and Cecil Gibbs. Steve Avery and Jon Jacob both have a distraught look on their faces and in a sympathetic voice, Col. Winston Smyth says,

“I trust you gentleman can find your way back OK?”

Avery nods his head as Winston leaves the shack.

“Lets get out of here, says Jon Jacob.

Steve Avery slings on his backpack and leaves the shack but as he does he sees a tall chicken jaunting through the woods behind the shack.

“Hey, Jon, isn’t that the tallest chicken you have ever seen in your life?”

“That’s no chicken, its a guy wearing a chicken hat!”

Avery running on blind instinct vaults into the woods in pursuit of the man in the chicken hat. Jon Jacob follows close behind but trips on a tree root and falls flat on his face. Avery twists and turns as the man in the chicken hat picks up speed. Avery is starting to lose him but immediately goes into Tarzan mode and grabs a vine and swings forward with surprising agility. Jon Jacob gets up in time to see the Edgar Rice stunt and fills in the blanks for Avery by providing the Tarzan yell in perfect pitch. Avery can’t help but smile and yells his thanks back at Jon Jacob.

Avery comes down from his swinging vine and finds himself in a clearing with thesound of roaring water. It seems the man in the chicken hat is trapped at the edge of a cliff with no where to go. Below a raging waterfall and river. The man rapidly unzips his yellow camo to reveal a dress underneath. Is this a woman Avery has been chasing?  But wait, it is not a dress it is a kilt! The kilt begins to whirl about the man lifting him up in the air. The Kilt is spinning and acting like helecopter blades as the man is airborne and hovers out over the water.

Steve Avery removes his digital camera with telephoto lens from his backpack and snaps a photo. The spinning kilt reveals a man’s naked ass with a tattoo.”

“I know that ass”, said Avery

Steve Avery recognized the tattoo on the man’s ass. he had seen it many times. The tattoo, not the ass! It was a Tichu tattoo.


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