Epic Moments in Gaming—Sucking Vacuum

Posted: March 22, 2015 in Uncategorized

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Although this game took place years ago, it is still being talked about today. In this Episode of Epic Moments in Gaming we look at Sucking Vacuum. It takes place aboard the International Space Station and the rules say you should adopt a foreign accent. I played a Russian and used my best impression of Checkov. I like to say “Wessel”

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Here is my character. As you can see a beautiful standup that no mini could match. The game Sucking Vacuum is produced by Alien Menace who thinks games don’t have to be expensive to be cool. A statement with which I totally agree.

Anyway, my oxygen supply was good and I had formulated a plan to win the game.

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I had already collected the items I needed to win the game. I had a complete spacesuit. I also had the computer program to fuel the escape pod, and I had the autopilot for me to successfully navigate the escape pod back to earth.

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However, there was a problem. I had to make my way through my opponent the evil German

who also had the same goal in mind. To steal my fuel program and autopilot and escape by himself in the escape pod,

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A menacing standup by any stretch of the imagination! As I approached the computer terminal to fuel the escape pod, he was waiting for me. He was armed with a weapon so deadly I shuddered from fear.

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Yes, that is what it looks like, a toilet brush. Hitting me with that would knock 3 oxygen out of me and I would be Sucking Vacuum and an easy target for the Evil German to steal my auto pilot and Fuel program. To hit me The German would need to roll a 1-3 on a 6 sided die. I looked on in trepidation as he rolled…

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A FIVE! That nasty toilet brush missed my head as I dodged in the weightless atmosphere in slow motion. Now it was my turn. I had to knock the oxygen out of that German so I could make it to the Escape Pod. I was not armed but I had a much better weapon and her name was Annabelle!

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Annabelle is the Space Station’s helper robot and she was under my control. I had rigged an old Atari joystick to control her and I wasn’t going to use her to sweep the floor, nooooo

Annabelle was going to attack the German and when she attacks no die roll is needed, she never misses and she will slap you for 4 O2 right out of your oxygen supply! Annabelle reminds me of the female android on Bride of Pinbot, the old pinball machine and its in the balls that the German took it and you guessed it, he was sucking vacuum!

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The Evil German now had only one thing he could do! He had to slowly move toward the nearest Oxygen tank to refill his air supply.

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As the German slowly moved out of my path and headed to the oxygen supply, I made my way to the computer terminal and inserted the floppy disk to initiate the fueling program.

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The Escape Pod is fueled and I make my way with a hint of arrogance to the Escape Pod. I engage the Auto Pilot and I leave the International Space Station sailing my “wessel” to a glorious victory and into the books as another EPIC MOMENT IN GAMING! (echo)

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